Loves-Me-Not is a ‘whole-school approach’ to prevent abusive behaviour in relationships. It is based on a student inquiry learning process, where students take action (personal action, effective bystander action and community action) to prevent harm from relationship abuse.

Loves-Me-Not is designed for Year 12 students as the appropriate age to discuss relationship abuse and to start to take action for change. It uses a whole school approach and includes a one-day workshop.

NEW: Introductory video

Nigel Latta introduces a 10-minute video that explains how Loves-Me-Not teaches senior secondary school students about healthy relationships. The film encourages parents to talk with their teenage children about navigating relationships and avoiding relationship abuse.

Whilst primarily aimed at parents, this video is suitable for anyone at all who wishes to know more about Loves-Me-Not.

We encourage all schools who are doing Loves-Me-Not to share the YouTube link via your school e-newsletters or social media, and to show the video at parent and staff meetings.

The video can be accessed on YouTube at:

Registrations for 2017

Use this form to register for Loves-Me-Not in 2017.

Implementation guide

The Loves-Me-Not implementation guide assists:

  • schools to implement Loves-Me-Not as a whole-school approach
  • Police to provide community support and leadership for Loves-Me-Not
  • facilitators to ensure consistency of delivery of the workshop.

These resources were updated in January 2017 to take into account feedback from 2016.

Workshop material

Delivery of the Loves-Me-Not workshop includes a workshop manual, workshop resources (print resources used during the workshop), and a PowerPoint presentation (used during the workshop). These materials were updated in January 2017 to take into account feedback from 2016.

  • The workshop manual describes the learning intentions and procedures for delivering the one-day Loves-Me-Not workshop across six focus areas.
  • The workshop resources provides the print resources used during the workshop.
  • A PowerPoint presentation is used for the workshop. The following PDF file provides a preview only of the PowerPoint's content, but its embedded video links are disabled.

The actual PowerPoint (PPTX) file itself, including working links to the videos, will be provided by the Police Loves-Me-Not facilitator, or by contacting your local School Community Officer via your local Police station. Ask for the June 2017 version of the PPTX file with more recent statistics on slide #37 than those shown in this preview PDF.

Workshop focus areas

  • Focus area 1: Your awesome future love life
    Students develop a trusted picture of an awesome relationship, and a sense of their personal journey towards it.
  • Focus area 2: Barriers to an awesome love live
    Students learn about negative behaviours that develop into increasingly one-sided power and control in a relationship.
  • Focus area 3: Only 'yes' means 'yes'
    Students learn what active sexual consent is, what damage is caused by sexual assault, and how they can help their friends stay safe.
  • Focus area 4: Stepping up
    Students learn to appreciate their important role in helping their friends to be aware and safe in their relationships.
  • Focus area 5: Lashing out
    Students explore the reality of partner violence in New Zealand and how they can help themselves and others safely if a relationship becomes violent.
  • Focus area 6: Be the change!
    Students explore positive actions they can take right now in their relationships, their friends’ relationships, and with their families/whānau, schools and communities to resist unhealthy relationships and promote healthy ones.

Frequently asked questions

This 2-page summary answers common questions about Loves-Me-Not. This FAQ was updated in January 2017.

Sexuality education guide

The Ministry of Education’s Sexuality Education: a guide for principals, boards of trustees, and teachers is also of relevance to schools when considering child abuse or relationship violence education.