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Loves-Me-Not 2019/20

There is now a newer 2021 version of Loves-Me-Not available. However the following 2019/20 resources will still be kept available as an alternative until mid-2022.

Loves-Me-Not is a ‘whole-school approach’ to prevent abusive behaviour in relationships. It is based on a student inquiry learning process, where students take action (personal action, effective bystander action and community action) to prevent harm from relationship abuse.

Loves-Me-Not is designed for Year 12 students as the appropriate age to discuss relationship abuse and to start to take action for change. It uses a whole school approach and includes a one-day workshop.

Introductory video

Nigel Latta introduces a 10-minute video that explains how Loves-Me-Not teaches senior secondary school students about healthy relationships. The film encourages parents to talk with their teenage children about navigating relationships and avoiding relationship abuse.

Whilst primarily aimed at parents, this video is suitable for anyone at all who wishes to know more about Loves-Me-Not.

We encourage all schools who are doing Loves-Me-Not to share the YouTube link via your school e-newsletters or social media, and to show the video at parent and staff meetings.

The video can be accessed on YouTube at:

Registration form

If your school is interested in implementing Loves-Me-Not, please:

  1. firstly, contact your School Community Officer at the nearest major police station to discuss the implemention process 
  2. secondly (once your school, local Police and local NGO have all agreed to jointly implement Loves-Me-Not) submit the following registration form to

Implementation guide

The Loves-Me-Not implementation guide assists:

  • schools to implement Loves-Me-Not as a whole-school approach
  • Police to provide community support and leadership for Loves-Me-Not
  • facilitators to ensure consistency of delivery of the workshop.

We also have a Quick Reference Sheet to help guide you through the implementation process.

The implementation guide:


Workshop material

Delivery of the Loves-Me-Not workshop includes a workshop manual, workshop resources (print resources used during the workshop), and a PowerPoint presentation (used during the workshop). 

  • The workshop manual describes the learning intentions and procedures for delivering the one-day Loves-Me-Not workshop across six focus areas.
  • The workshop resources provides the print resources used during the workshop.
  • The following PDF file provides a preview of the workshop PowerPoint presentation, but its embedded video links are disabled. The actual PowerPoint (PPTX) file with working links to the videos will be provided by the Police Loves-Me-Not facilitator, or can be obtained by contacting your School Community Officer via your local Police station


The Loves-Me-Not workshop includes a process evaluation to be completed by students and facilitators after the workshop. These evaluations are then collated onto the following form for submitting to Police National HQ:

An impact evaluation is also done with a random sample of the students and school staff no less than four months after the workshop. 

e-Book Loves-Me-Not: How to Keep Relationships Safe

This e-book by William J. O'Brien and Lesley Elliott is for students doing Loves-Me-Not, or for anyone else interested in keeping relationships safe. It describes the 2008 murder of Sophie Elliott by her former boyfriend and university lecturer, Clayton Weatherston, and how it became clear Sophie's murderer was a typical abuser who had a track record of treating partners badly. The book includes advice and suggestions on how to identify problems, how to deal with them and where to seek help. Also included is 'One for the Boys', a chapter written by well-known clinical psychologist and commentator, Nigel Latta, as well as a chapter written by school guidance counsellor, Gayna McConnell.

This book is also available free of charge on Amazon/Kindle, iTune/iBooks, and Kobo.

Frequently asked questions

This two-page summary answers frequently asked questions about Loves-Me-Not. 

Sexuality education guide

The Ministry of Education’s Sexuality Education: a guide for principals, boards of trustees, and teachers is also of relevance to schools when considering healthy relationships education programmes such as Loves-Me-Not.