What will children and young people learn?

They will learn:

• to work out when their safety is at risk
• how to keep safe when they meet and mix with other people
• who and how to ask for help if they, or someone they know, is being abused
• to go on asking for help until someone does something to stop the abuse
• that it is important to make and follow personal, family and school safety rules.

They will know:

• that abuse is never okay
• that abuse is never their fault.

View the Keeping Ourselves Safe programme resources.

What part do parents, caregivers and whānau play?

Parents and whānau are strongly encouraged to support Keeping Ourselves Safe.

• You can attend a meeting at school to tell you more about Keeping Ourselves Safe.
• You can find out about abuse and what to do if you think a child you know is being abused.
• You can talk to your child about what they have learnt in Keeping Ourselves Safe.
• You can set safety guidelines with your family.
• You can help young children with the Keeping Ourselves Safe activities they bring home.
• You can give the same safety messages as the school is giving.

Frequently asked questions

Why does my child need Keeping Ourselves Safe?

Doesn’t Keeping Ourselves Safe destroy a child’s innocence?

Isn’t this just an anti-male programme?

Does this mean my male partner can’t bathe my child?

What should I do if I suspect abuse?

What happens when abuse is reported to Oranga Tamariki or Police?

I teach my child about stranger danger. Isn’t that enough?

What sort of abuse are we talking about?

How will I know what is being taught?

Can I withdraw my child from Keeping Ourselves Safe?

Should I prevent my child from going on the internet?

Aim of the programme

Keeping Ourselves Safe is a comprehensive child abuse prevention programme for schools. Its purpose is to:

• teach students a range of safe practices that they can use when interacting with other people, both online and face to face
• teach students how to recognise the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships, and encourage students who have been or are being abused to seek help
• prevent abuse by making parents and teachers more aware of their responsibilities to help students avoid abuse.

School Community Officers are available to support schools to plan and implement Keeping Ourselves Safe. Schools can contact them through their local police station.

Resources

The Keeping Ourselves Safe resources include:

• Information for principals and Boards of Trustees
• Information for parents/whānau
• Information for teachers
• Student learning activities for:
  • Junior primary (Years 0-3)
  • Middle primary (Years 4-6)
  • Senior primary (Years 7-8)
  • Years 9–10
  • Years 11–13

Understanding abuse

Abuse occurs in all communities, regardless of their ethnic, socio-economic, geographic and religious make-up. A child who has been abused is less likely to reach their full potential as an individual, may struggle to focus on learning, and may fail to thrive.

• About abuse

Child protection guidelines

Guidelines to help schools to plan safety education that focus on child protection, and outline ways to identify and respond to incidents of child abuse:

• Child protection guidelines

Two short (20 second) videos in which the Privacy Commissioner answers two important questions: What do you do if you think a child is in danger? Can you share information to help at-risk children?

• What do I do if I think a child is at risk?

Everyone has problems sometimes. When problems happen the best things to do are to admit there's a problem, get help and don't give up – you can get through it.

It's important to take action and to look after yourself and people you care about.

Taking action

If you don't feel safe, you can do something about it. Things you could do to keep yourself and others safe include:

• when you need help - ask for it, you don't have to deal with things alone
• tell people you trust (a parent, friend, teacher or police officer etc) about what you're worried about and what would make you feel safer. If they don't believe you or help you ask another person you trust
• get involved in a crime prevention group such as Students Against Dangerous Driving (SADD)
• share your safety ideas with leaders (e.g. school principals, the chair of the Board of Trustees, kaumatua and kuia, the mayor and local councillors, church leaders). Let them know what they could do to prevent crime and crashes by writing letters, making presentations, and using social media (Facebook etc) etc
• suggest ways in which the environment could be changed to make it safer –for example, Crime Prevention Through Environmental Design (CPTED)  

Problems you may face

Bullying

Everyone has a right to be safe from other people. Bullying is a problem for many young people. You need to remember that:

• bullying is wrong
• nobody deserves to be bullied
• bullying is never the victim's fault
• if you are being bullied, tell an adult you trust
• if you see another person being bullied, tell an adult you trust.

Child abuse

Child abuse is when another person, usually someone more powerful than you, doesn't treat you nicely. This can happen in lots of ways including sexually or physically (by hurting you, touching your body in bad ways or doing things to you you don't like), or mentally and emotionally (by teasing you, picking on you, or making you really scared of them).

You need to remember that:

• all child abuse is wrong and is never the fault of the person it was done to
• nobody deserves to be abused
• child abuse must be stopped
• if you are being abused, tell an adult or a friend you trust
• if you know another young person is being abused, tell an adult or a friend you trust.
• if the first person you tell doesn't do anything, keep on telling people until someone does.

Cyber safety / being safe online

Doing things online (on the internet via computers or smart phones etc) can be risky, especially if people you don't know can chat to you or see your personal information. For example, you may be bullied by text or email, or you may agree to a face-to-face meeting with someone you met on the net.

Keep safe by only chatting online to people you already know and by avoiding sites that let others put you down or threaten you. Think about your safety at all times when you're online and make sure you use private settings etc.

If you are ever bullied, threatened or creeped out in any way make sure you tell an adult you know and trust - don't deal with it alone.

Drug and alcohol abuse

Some people use drugs and alcohol because they think it makes them happy and helps them cope with stress. Spending time with friends and talking to people you can trust are better ways to enjoy yourself and deal with things you're stressed about.

Drugs and alcohol can also cause problems, because they change the way your brain and body work. They can mess up your relationships (by making you do things you otherwise wouldn't do), cause physical and mental health problems, and lead to problems at school or work. You might also get into trouble with Police by doing things while you're drunk or wasted.

If you're worried about how drugs or alcohol might be affecting you or someone you know make sure you tell someone you can trust.

Theft

Theft is something that can affect lots of young people. When someone takes something that's not theirs without asking they are stealing (or committing theft). Theft is a crime and always affects other people. Make it harder for someone to steal your stuff by keeping things locked away in safe places or by keeping them within your view.

If anything of yours is stolen, make sure you tell an adult you can trust. You should also tell your local police about it. 

Where to go for help

New Zealand Police

• Call your local police station and explain your concerns.
• Information about drugs and alcohol
• Information to protect you property

What's Up

What's Up is a counselling phone line for children and young people 5-18 years old, staffed by trained counsellors.

P  0800 942 8787
W  www.whatsup.co.nz

Youthline

Need support or want to talk?

P  0800 37 66 33
Free Text  234
W  www.youthline.co.nz

Netsafe

Information and advice about cyberbullying.
W  www.cyberbullying.org.nz

Alcohol Drug Helpline

The Alcohol Drug Helpline offers free confidential information and support on any problem, issue or question about your own or someone else’s drinking or drug taking.

P 0800 787 797
W  alcoholdrughelp.org.nz

Drug help

This website provides quality information about illegal drugs and their associated harm.

W  drughelp.org.nz

Police support a range of education programmes and services to schools free of charge. The programmes are all designed to help children and young people lead happy and safe lives. They cover the following five themes:

• Successful relationships
• Travelling safely
• Responsible citizens
• Healthy body, healthy mind
• Living in a safe community

The Ministry of Education's Parent Portal also provides parents and carers with practical information about education.

How are these programmes provided?

A School Community Officer (formerly known as a Police Education Officer) works with the school to identify issues and needs and plan programmes and services to suit. If you are aware of any issues that you feel need to be addressed, ask your child's teacher or school principal.

The programmes are planned and delivered by a classroom teacher and, if necessary, supported by the School Community Officer.

Police recommend a whole-school approach for all these education programmes, as described in the intervention planning tool (PDF, 321KB). In the whole-school approach, parents and whānau contribute to and support the programme.

Ways in which parents and whānau can contribute include:

• helping the school decide what programmes need to be taught
• reinforcing at home the messages that the school is giving (for example, about bullying and crossing the road)
• taking part in some classroom lessons
• helping with homework activities
• attending and promoting school–parent meetings and partnerships
• contributing to the development of school policies and procedures
• being a resource person
• being a good role model for children and young people (for example, always wearing a safety belt, not misusing alcohol)
• taking part in evaluation of learning.

The programmes

Successful relationships

Police aim to assist children and young people develop and sustain successful relationships through three violence prevention programmes:

• Kia Kaha enables students, parents, caregivers and teachers to recognise that bullying is unacceptable in both the school and the wider community. They will develop strategies to stop bullying and replace it with acceptable behaviour. Here is some specific information for parents related to Kia Kaha.
• Keeping Ourselves Safe is a positive personal safety (child protection) programme that aims to provide children and young people with the skills to cope with situations that might involve abuse. It will help them keep themselves safe in their interactions with other people. Here is some specific information for parents related to Keeping Ourselves Safe.
• Loves-Me-Not is a healthy relationship programme in which senior secondary school students learn about relationships and the sometimes difficult subjects of relationship abuse and consent. Here is an FAQ (PDF, 111KB) about Loves-Me-Not that includes information for parents. 

Travelling safely

As a parent you have a very important role in practising and reinforcing road safety skills, whether it is walking, cycling, driving, or as a passenger.

Children are vulnerable road users. Every year children are killed and injured on the road, as passengers, pedestrians, cyclists, drivers and other road users.

Children are at risk on or near the roads because they:

• do not see and hear things in the same way that adults do
• have undeveloped eyesight, especially peripheral vision
• are easily distracted by noises and such things as animals
• are short and can't see over or round things easily
• can't judge safe distances and so make poor decisions about crossing the road
• may forget road rules if something unexpected happens, such as a ball bouncing on the road.

Young people are at risk because of hormonal changes, peer pressure, access to high-powered vehicles and insufficient experience when operating a vehicle on roads.

Here is more specific information for parents about Travelling Safely.

Responsible citizens

Police believe that children and young people should grow up with a sense of what is right and wrong. They should be able to take their place as responsible adults, concerned about the safety of people and their property.

In our programmes students learn strategies to help keep their own and others' property safe and so reduce the risk of crime. The programmes also help children clarify and develop their own values, which in turn leads to a change of behaviour.

The following information for schools and their communities includes specific advice on how parents and caregivers can be involved:

• Burglary Free
• Doing The Right Thing
• Tag Free (graffiti vandalism programme)

Practical things you can do as a parent to encourage social responsibility

To help your child protect their own and others’ property you can teach them to:

• put things back in the right place
• always ask if they can borrow something and return it promptly with thanks
• treat possessions with care
• think about how they would feel if one of their possessions was damaged or taken
• follow your example of looking after property well
• lock up possessions like bikes.

To prevent your child stealing:

• explain that stealing is wrong
• expect and show honesty
• help children to recognise and overcome the temptation to steal
• talk about how we feel when someone steals our possessions
• show them sensible alternatives to stealing to get the things that they need or want
• help them to sort out what things they can't have
• ask Police to run a parents' discussion meeting on stealing, at your local school.

If your child steals:

• keep calm and talk it through together
• decide on the consequences as a family
• help them to return stolen goods and to apologise to the owner.

To prevent your child vandalising property:

• teach children to take care of their property from an early age
• show children how carefully you look after your own property
• talk about what vandalism is and how it spoils the environment
• explain that all property belongs to someone
• talk about how people feel when their things are damaged and destroyed
• help children to find positive ways to use their leisure time
• give them skills to resist pressure from their peers.

If your child vandalises:

• keep calm and talk it through together
• decide on the consequences as a family
• go with your child to apologise to the owner of the property
• help them right the damage.

Healthy body, healthy mind (dealing with harmful substances)

These programmes are designed to help children and young people avoid illegal drugs, make sensible choices about their use of legal drugs and seek support when needed.

This information on preparing for a drug education programme includes specific advice on how parents and caregivers can be involved.

Living in a safe community

This programme shows the various ways Police help to keep people safe and how children make contact with Police when they need help.

For more information, see the theme Living in a safe community.

Prevention policies/activities in schools

Abuse is a serious matter and no-one deserves to be abused. Abuse can take a number of forms, all of which can be damaging to the victim.

Whenever Police or other resource people provide education about child protection, the following guidelines should be followed:

• The school must have an effective child protection policy that clearly describe how to identify and respond to suspected abuse and neglect (as required under the Vulnerable Children Act 2014).
• Everyone in the school community shares responsibility for preventing the abuse of children.
• So that children can recognise, avoid and report abuse, they should be taught skills, knowledge and attitudes through regular and planned relationship education programmes (e.g. Kia Kaha and Keeping Ourselves Safe or Loves-Me-Not).
• Abuse prevention and relationship education should take place at all school levels.
• Lessons should not be unsupported one-off events, but should incorporate effective pedagogy.

In particular, it needs to be remembered that:

• children don't always know that sex abuse is wrong and reportable
• young children are not always capable of judging adults’ motives
• abuse in family/whānau and close relationships is more damaging and significantly more likely than abuse by strangers – minimise teaching of 'stranger danger'
• the core of learning activities for students should include identifying danger signals, asserting rights to be safe, identifying and respecting private anatomical parts, developing problem-solving and social skills, and gaining confidence to seek help.

Further information

For further information, see:

• Sexuality Education: a guide for principals, boards of trustees, and teachers (2015) from the Ministry of Education
• Bullying prevention and response: A guide for schools (2015) (PDF) from the Bullying Prevention Advisory Group.
• Preparing for and dealing emergencies and traumatic incidents (2015) from the Ministry of Education
• Families Commission: Effectiveness of relationship education programmes in schools for Years 7–13 (2013)
• Who abuses children? - information about the myth of 'stranger danger'.
• Keeping Our Kids Safe: Advice on Behaviour Danger (PDF, 1.4 MB)

Response policies/activities in schools

Whenever child abuse, neglect, relationship violence, or cyberbullying is reported, the following guidelines should be followed:

• All reports of abuse must be listened to and acted on.
• Many people fail to report abuse in case their suspicions are wrong. Section 16 of the Children, Young Persons and Their Families Act (1989) protects people who notify concerns of abuse in good faith from civil and criminal proceedings.
• The child’s safety should always be the paramount consideration in the notification process.
• No decisions or actions in respect of suspected or actual child abuse, neglect, relationship violence, or cyberbullying are to be made by any staff member in isolation unless there are concerns for the immediate safety of the child.
• A consultative approach is essential to ensure the safety of the child and the staff member. Staff must discuss their concerns with the principal or nominated person/advocate. Where applicable, follow the board's complaint policy.
• Decisions about informing parents or caregivers about suspected or actual child abuse or neglect should be made after consultation between the school and Ministry for Vulnerable Children, Oranga Tamariki.
• Effective child protection requires a full, accurate and prompt sharing of information.

Further information

For further information, see:

• What do I do if I think a child is at risk? (2017), two short (20 second) videos from the Privacy Commissioner answering two important questions: What do you do if you think a child is in danger?  Can you share information to help at-risk children?
• Safer organisations, safer children (2015), an inter-agency child protection policy guideline that outlines what a good child protection policy should contain, along with links to supporting resources.
• Bullying prevention and response: A guide for schools (2015) (PDF) from the Bullying Prevention Advisory Group.
• Reporting process that Police follow for suspected or disclosed child abuse (2014) (PDF, 60KB)
• Guidelines for reporting suspected or actual child abuse and neglect (2009) protocol between the Ministry of Education, the New Zealand School Trustees Association and Oranga Tamariki–Ministry for Children

Contact information

To find your local Police station go to www.police.govt.nz/contact-us/stations

Ministry for Vulnerable Children, Oranga Tamariki: telephone 0508 326 459 or email contact@mvcot.govt.nz

School–Police response protocol

School and local Police are encouraged to develop and agree protocols about when and how Police will respond to potential or actual offending by young people related to child abuse, relationship violence, serious and/or sustained assaults or other severe byullying.

This could be done as part of the Partnership agreement (DOCX, 26KB) on how the Police and school partner together in general.

Suggestions as to when to involve Police in bullying are provided in Preventing and responding to bullying: A guide for schools (2015).

Specific guidelines for online abuse

Online abuse prevention policies/activities in schools

Whenever Police or other resource people provide education about online safety and responsible behaviour on the internet, learning outcomes should emphasise:

• protection of personal information
• responsible internet use
• the consequences of poor decisions about disclosing personal information, including photographic imagery
• options for seeking help.

Further information

• Cyberbullying in Preventing and responding to bullying: A guide for schools (2015).
• Digital technology: safe and responsible use in schools (2014) (PDF)
• Netsafe including their publication Staying Safe Online (PDF).

Also see our sample online safety intervention plan:

• Online Safety Plan  (PDF, 156KB)
• Online Safety Plan (DOC, 241KB)

Contact information

To find your local Police station go to www.police.govt.nz/contact-us/stations

Teachers and students can report concerns about online behaviour through Netsafe.

Online abuse response policies/activities in schools

Whenever a case involving online child exploitation or cyberbullying is reported, the following guidelines should be followed:

• The child’s safety should always be the paramount consideration in the notification process.
• Privacy issues must be considered in respect of notifying parents/caregivers of online child exploitation, as young people may not want the circumstances disclosed to parents/caregivers.
• Schools should seek guidance on the most appropriate course of action.

School–Police response protocol

Schools and local Police are encouraged to develop and agree protocols about when and how Police will respond to cases of online child exploitation.

This could be done as part of the Partnership agreement (DOCX, 26KB) on how the Police and school partner together in general.